Santa May Not Step Within 100 Yards of Your Person

Do you feel threatened by the likes of Santa, Aliens, Bigfoot, and David Letterman? If so, there’s a solution for you. Get a restraining order. On top of the aforementioned names names above, you can also get a restraining order against God, Satan, the Loch Ness Monster and Death for only $5. If you or someone you know is stuck in this type of an abusive relationship, you should definitely get a Paranormal Restraining Order.