Halloween falls on a Friday this year- woo hoo! If you happen to be so wrapped up in work, or life, or lack there of, and did not notice until the last minute that Halloween fell on a Friday, thus allowing you to party-harty (drink as much as you like- you’ll be wearing a mask hiding the true identity of any alcoholic related mahem) all night long, and forgot to purchase the perfect costume, don’t worry- we have your back.
Below, you’ll find a list of great Halloween costume ideas fitting every budget, body-type, and personality. You can thank this site for your blue ribbon in Best Costume.
ANTARTICA Are you Portly? Pleasingly plump? Big-boned? Just plain overweight? Halloween was meant for you! Simply throw that white sheet over yourself, and you're the continent of Antartica BAKED POTATO New parents! Are you confused about how to dress your infant for the Halloween party? The answer is as close as your kitchen! Simply wrap the offspring in aluminum foil -- and the kid's a baked potato! PILLOWS A simple pillow can provide any number of last-minute costumes. Tuck it into the upper back of your shirt -- you're Quasimodo! Or move it around to the front -- you're Arnold Schwarzenegger! Now drop it lower -- you're Helen Hunt last season on "Mad About You!" [pregnant] Don't discard that pillow case -- put it over the top part of your body and you're a Chicklet! COTTON CANDY Energy-conscious but short on time for a clever costume? Race up to your attic and roll up some of that pink fiberglass insulation you put up there to conserve heat. Wrap the paper side toward you and you're that favorite circus treat, cotton candy! [ED NOTE: I'm not sure how safe that is, you decide] LOST TV REMOTE Art imitates life once again with this cumbersome but easily identifiable costume. Simply remove two large seat cushions from your sofa, and affix one in front of you and one behind you. You're an item familiar to all -- the lost TV remote control! WASH-and-WEARWOLF Here's a new twist to an old Wolfman mask. Take an old laundry basket and cut out the bottom so you can stick your head through. Wrap sheets of fabric softener, bedsheets and odd socks around the rest of your body. You're a Wash-and-Wearwolf! MOUNT RUSHMORE Get three friends. Take one white sheet, and cut four holes in it. Whiten your faces and hair with make-up, powder or flour. Then line up and stick your heads through the sheet, and enjoy your monumental costume -- as Mount Rushmore! PORTABLE CLOTHES DRYER Got an old diving or snorkeling mask? Stick some old baby socks and a handkerchief in the lens and put it on. Now move your head up and down, and you're a portable clothes dryer! (Hey, these are last-minute ideas! We didn't say they'd be good!) CELEBRITY LOOK-ALIKES: SPICE GIRLS Ladies! Want a quick costume that'll make you as trendy as the hip kids on MTV? Raid your kitchen cabinets and take every bottle of seasoning. Now tape the bottles all over your body. You're one of the SPICE GIRLS! DENNIS RODMAN Guys, here's a way to be environmentally conscious with your Halloween costume! Recycle your old costumes to make new ones! Find that old green hairspray from the once-trendy "Joker" costume everyone had after the first "Batman" movie came out. Then, dig up that Scarlett O'Hara gown your girlfriend wore. Combine 'em, and you're NBA superstar Dennis Rodman! Tattoos and body piercing are optional! IDEAS FOR PARTIES YOU'D RATHER MISS: MARIS Ladies, you can avoid parties you'd rather not attend. Just call and tell them you're going to dress as Maris, the well-known wife of Dr. Miles Crain on "Fraiser." Then you don't have to go. As regular viewers know, Maris is never seen on the show! INVISIBLE MAN The best last-minute idea for a party you'd rather not attend: Tell the host you'll be coming as the Invisible Man. Then don't show up!
My last minute idea was to hit the thrift store where I found a king crown and a scepter. No robe or anything else. Then I wrote with a Sharpie on the back of a white tshirt: “Ebert The Great: King of the Interwebs. I Can Haz Beer Now?” Lame. Cheap. Only a little funny. But fk it I’m a slacker.